WOMEN AS LEADERS, PART II

by Kathy Reiffenstein

Confidence -- specifically the lack of it -- is an issue that everyone deals with from time to time. But in the workplace, lack of confidence seems to be a uniquely female struggle that can and does get in the way of being seen as having leadership capabilities.

There are undoubtedly a variety of influences that come together to fuel this lack of confidence:

• societal mores, customs and traditions

• parental upbringing where girls are raised to be "nicer", more nurturing and less aggressive than boys

• workplace standards which traditionally have elevated men, rather than women, to leadership positions

Yet as I pointed out in the last post, research studies have shown that some of our uniquely feminine characteristics -- like strong interpersonal skills, ability to collaborate and concern for employees -- position us well to take on leadership roles. Even so, since we're not seeing actions that validate that point of view in the workplace, we can lose confidence in the belief that we do have what it takes to be a senior leader.

Low confidence makes us feel anxious and even afraid...that our opinions won't be valued, that we don't know what we're talking about, that we're really not competent. We then act passively and perhaps avoid new challenges, in a desire to stay under the radar. A variety of possible problems may result:

POSSIBLE PROBLEM: We tend to gravitate to jobs in Human Resources, Public Relations and Communications, areas which are a good fit for our expressive, collaborative skills but are removed from the typical corporate seats of power -- jobs with bottom line accountability, strategic responsibilities and the need for financial acumen.
SUGGESTED SOLUTION: Brush up on your financial knowledge so you can participate during financial discussions and be able to clearly articulate how the work you do contributes to the company financials. Be open to and even actively pursue jobs or projects which will allow you to acquire key financial and strategic skills.

POSSIBLE PROBLEM: We wait to speak up in a meeting or with our boss until we have all the facts so we can be sure we sound knowledgeable and don't make a mistake.
SUGGESTED SOLUTION: Trust your ability to have an intelligent discussion, even without all the facts, based on your existing understanding of a topic or situation. Always be flexible to incorporate new information as it emerges.

POSSIBLE PROBLEM: In a group situation or meeting, we don't share our opinions or perspectives for fear of being "wrong", offending those with different points of view or because we feel intimidated by others who have more knowledge, more power or more authority.
SUGGESTED SOLUTION: Do your homework about the topic being discussed and come to a meeting prepared to confidently share your opinion, backed by your research. Certainly be sensitive to those who see things differently and use your professionalism and tact to avoid any confrontations.

POSSIBLE PROBLEM: You don't share your accomplishments because it feels like bragging.
SUGGESTED SOLUTION: Recognize that you owe it to others, particularly those in positions of authority, to let them know what you're good at. Craft your story with lots of details and examples and focus on the results achieved rather than how great you are.

It's easy to grasp intellectually what you should do in these types of situations to demonstrate more confidence; it's another thing entirely to actually do it! The best advice is to be intentional and consistent about changing your behaviour. Try these techniques:

• Step out of your comfort zone. Building on your strengths, volunteer for a project you've never done or an assignment that seems challenging. Set small goals, working on only one area you want to change at a time and you will see the positive results accumulate quickly.

• Keep doing. The more you do, the easier it gets. For example, after speaking up a few times at a meeting and getting positive reactions from colleagues and bosses, you'll wonder why you were ever apprehensive to do it.

• Allow yourself to make mistakes and don't dwell on past mistakes. Don't expect to be perfect at the new behaviours right away. Learn from what didn't go as planned and incorporate that learning for the next time.

• Smile, stand tall and look people in the eye. People tend to treat you based on how you act. If you show up as confident and assured, that's how others will see you.

In the last post in the Women as Leaders series, we'll look at a leadership model developed by McKinsey & Company which is designed to help women become more self-confident and effective business leaders.