"The problem with communication is
the illusion that it has been accomplished."
George Bernard Shaw, 20th century Irish playwright and Nobel laureate
Shaw's words are still true today. It's common practice to think that as long as we articulately convey some information or opinion, the listener will automatically understand it. Yet how many times do we shake our heads in frustration when that listener misunderstands our "clear" words?
The culprit is most likely different communication styles...different filters through which each of us sees the world, makes decisions and verbalizes our ideas. In the last post, we covered two of the four communication styles, based on psychoanalyst Carl Jung's work: the Intuitor and the Thinker. This post will cover the remaining two styles: the Senser and the Feeler.
THE SENSER
If you want something done, give it to a Senser. This style thrives on action, deadlines and results. Sensers have a high need to achieve but are very practical, so they only commit themselves to a project or an idea once they know how it will work and determine it has a good chance of succeeding. They are down-to-earth, energetic and very detail-oriented.
Although Sensers can conceptualize, they prefer dealing with specifics that can be quantified, like sales volume, quarterly profits and volume of calls versus more qualitative measures of performance. Sensers have high standards...they're frequently perfectionists...and impose these standards on others, sometimes leading others to think they are too demanding. Resourceful and well-organized, they like to make things happen. They are very direct in their communication, with little patience for people who can't get to the point and little time for small talk.
Because Sensers are so focused on achievement, they may emphasize short term results over long term planning. Always confident and assertive, this style may be criticized for being too opinionated and not caring about others' points-of-view.
Example:
The Senser is the person who, when listening to a presentation from a new salesperson giving some background on his company's history and product line, cuts the salesperson off by asking, "What's the cost of the product and what are your delivery time frames?"
Key Strength: Results focus and detail orientation, with a strong bias to action.
Key Weakness: Over-bearing with a tendency to ignore long term implications of actions.
THE FEELER
People who favour the Feeler style value relationships and harmony in their interactions with others. They are responsive to other peoples' needs, feelings and moods. They are quick to provide support, empathy and encouragement. A Feeler will typically be the person making sure that everyone else feels valued, gets their opinion heard and is happy. They are good at facilitating consensus and mediating disagreement.
Feelers focus on morale and facilitate teamwork, being the glue that holds the group together. They are great listeners and can often provide useful insights into organizational politics. A Feeler is friendly and approachable and is good at pointing out others' strengths. Because relationships are so important to a Feeler, goals and deadlines are sometimes sacrificed for the sake of the relationship. They tend to be more tactful than honest, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. In fact, they may tend to avoid or delay making decisions until everyone is happy with the decision.
Since Feelers rely more on "gut feelings" than logic, they may become defensive when confronted, appearing overly sensitive and subjective. This style can be criticized for being too emotional.
Example:
The Feeler is the person who spends time at the beginning of a meeting going around the table asking how everyone is doing, even though this takes up 20 minutes of the agenda, causing the meeting to start off behind schedule.
Key Strength: Empathy with others' feelings.
Key Weakness: Tendency to put harmony ahead of deadlines, goals or tough decisions.
Now that you have some insight into the four Communication Styles, you can see that each looks at the world through quite a different lens. Understanding these different perspectives can help you realize why communication is sometimes so challenging. And why sometimes it is only an illusion that it has been accomplished.
In the next post we'll look at how each of the four Communication Styles can interact most effectively with the others.
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